so...

so...this mornings post had really been building up in me for awhile.
had a good doc visit this am...but was unusual for one main reason.
he can't help me anymore.
essentially that's it.
i'm at a point where i'm the only one who can help me.
i've even turned therapy into a crutch.
you see...my problem lately has been inaction.
i've come to define myself as a depressed person.
and because of that...i don't know how else to be.
most specifically i've developed habits (bad ones) that keep me immovable.
what used to be a satiating ritual no longer holds pleasure or even brings contented distraction.
and that includes therapy.
by giving me instruction/homework or things to "work" on...he gives me motivation to act. but its still an outside source...and though its nearly weekly, doesn't linger the way i always wish it did.

anyway...i still love him, he's my psychologist..what can i do? lol
the point being...
the time for action has come.

writing has always made me feel better.
though not nearly as accomplished or fun to read as my friends, right now this is more for me.
hopefully i can follow in their learned footsteps and become a beacon of literary inspiration.
and i'm not even kidding...you're writing has and always will be a source of inspiration.

i'll try and get to the list i mentioned a little later today.